Onion Inc. is an American multimedia news organization. It features satirical articles and reporting on international, national, and local news as well as an entertainment newspaper and website known as A.V. Club.

The Onion's articles comment on current events, both real and imagined. It parodies traditional newspaper and media features, such as editorials, man-on-the-street interviews, and stock quotes, as well as traditional newspaper layout and AP-style editorial voice. Much of its humor depends on presenting everyday events as newsworthy items, and by playing on commonly used phrases, as in the headline, "Drugs Win Drug War”.

In addition, a second part of the newspaper is a non-satirical entertainment section called A.V. Club. A.V. Club features interviews and reviews of various newly released media, and other weekly features. The print edition also contains restaurant reviews and previews of upcoming live entertainment specific to cities where a print edition is published. The online incarnation of The A.V. Club has its own domain, includes its own regular features, A.V. Club blogs, reader forums/comments, and presents itself as a separate entity from The Onion itself.

America’s Finest News Source is hiring a Listening Intern to comfort our staff by providing an attentive ear for hearing their thoughts and worries.

Only applicants that have watched Onion News Empire and posted a review on Amazon will be considered for the internship. Please include a link to your review in your application, and list three (3) reasons why you deserve to be hired.

This is a one-day unpaid position located at our Chicago office. To apply, watch our Onion News Empire pilot (amzn.to/11KlVvn) to see a Listening Intern in action & apply online. 

Ideal applicants will have experience nodding their head thoughtfully, maintaining eye contact, and displaying a sympathetic expression. The main focus of the internship will involve sitting in a chair and remaining silent while people talk at you.

Responsibilities will include:

1. Listening
2. Nodding
3. Smiling
4. Appearing deeply interested in what the speaker is saying
5. Remaining silent

1. Functional ears and/or lip reading ability
2. Meek obedient demeanor
3. Caring eyes that sparkle with an inner light are a plus, but not a requirement

The most competitive candidates will display a strong understanding of The Onion’s unique brand and readership, and also understand that our executives, editors, and writers are emotionally tangled miserable husks of humanity with a plethora of mental issues and life regrets to discuss. Good luck!